What’s something about you that you spent years trying to change in order to fit in?
I’ve been sitting with that question a lot lately, and it’s what this newsletter grew out of — or it’s the fact I’m going through my second nodal return (astrology reference).
Regardless, for as long as I can remember - actually my first short haircut that I was excited about when I was 6 yrs old and my friend said she didn’t like it - so from 6 years old, I remember noticing other people and feeling like I couldn’t be myself and be liked by others, that I must need to be more like them. You then add in:
growing up in a small town that had economic extremes
parents being on a teacher salary
teenager acne with zero resources
being the oldest and having my parents in their “strict era”
rebelling from ^^ and being grounded every other month
Facebook now all of a sudden being a thing - you were doomed if you couldn’t take a good selfie or didn’t have a full album showcasing moment to moment of your weekend sleepover
Also the fact that I was a lesbian and truly did not even know it - never met a lesbian until college
You get the picture. If you don’t - here are some lovely images of High School Kaila. Don’t think for a second my life didn’t revolve around marching band, show choir, musical theatre and trying to sneak out to parties whenever I could.
Whether you are familiar with me or have zero clue who I am - this was quite the intro for you. Hiiiiiii :) I’m so glad you’re here <3
Let’s start with the most recent shift: my PR agency rebrand to KMO HAUS
First, a little backstory. When I rebranded to KMO HAUS, the name meant something to me that I don’t think I’ve ever fully explained here. HAUS stands for humans are uniquely special. It started as a quiet reminder to myself about how I wanted to run my business (with people, for people), and over time it turned into the foundation of my values and beliefs. It shows up in how I work with clients, how I pitch editors, how I show up and connect with my team, and, if I’m being transparent, how I’m learning to show up better for myself.
I wanted a separate space where I can show up and share what’s on my heart, what I’ve experienced and worked through and honestly flex a little bit of my human design knowledge. I could spend hours a day talking about human design — and one day I will (and be paid for it.)
Here’s the thought I keep coming back to: we are each so wildly different, and the more we lean into that, the better work, relationships and life get.
The Human Design side of me
If my other newsletter is the affiliate PR side of my brain, this one is the Human Design side. You’ve probably seen me mention being a 6/2 splenic Projector here and there, usually in parentheses with a “no shame if you have zero clue what I’m talking about” disclaimer. This is where I finally get to take it out of the parentheses lol. It’s funny - I’m a lesbian - but I feel like my true “coming out of the closet” story is with my spiritual side. Let me step out of the closet real quick - I’m a:
Level 3 Reiki Energy Healer Practitioner (since 2019)
Animal Communicator (yes, you read that correctly)
Human Design reader and expert (since 2021)
At my core, I see and read the intangibles - the energy of a person’s aura - and human design allows me to give that a language. I now know and see within myself that my ability to discern how a person is actually feeling or thinking - reading the energy behind the smiles in a room or Zoom call, is my greatest skill in business and life.
I found Human Design about 7 years ago while listening to a podcast. At the time I was deep in my PR agency years, 8 years since my first work-related panic attacked, extreme anxiety and just trying really hard to work the way everyone around me worked and wondering why I struggled so much. Reading my chart for the first time felt like someone handed me a permission slip to stop and take a breathe. A simple reminder that nothing is wrong with me. So much of what I’d been labeling as “wrong” with me (needing to rest more than others, trusting my ah-ha moments of knowing over a 12-step plan) wasn’t wrong at all. It was just how I’m designed.
Since then, it’s become the guiding system I come back to whenever I want to be more authentically me and just feel my best. It’s why and how I built KMO HAUS (month-to-month contracts, an intuitive approach over rigid strategy decks, saying no to calls that drain me, trusting if a client partnerships doesn’t feel good it’s okay to move on), how I make decisions, and how I understand the people around me. It’s also why I love reading charts for other people, because watching someone feel seen for just being themselves is one of my favorite things in the world.
And to be clear, I don’t see Human Design as a box to put yourself in. I see it as a tool (if it resonates with you) that offers permission. Permission to stop forcing or changing, and to start understanding your unique energy and how life and work feels best for you.
Here’s what that’s taught me so far:
Your “too much” is usually someone else’s “exactly right.” The things I used to apologize for (my fast, connect-everything brain, needing to work intuitively, not loving rigid process) turned out to be the very things my best clients hire me for. The right people aren’t looking for the most polished version of everyone else. They’re looking for you.
Different isn’t a problem to fix, it’s information. When I fight who I truly am - aka my design, everything feels harder. When I work with it and trust it, things flow. Human Design gave me the language for that, but the practice underneath it is simple: get curious about when you feel most like yourself and when you feel drained, and then let yourself believe that information. The body does not lie, but the brain can and does.
Everyone else is uniquely special too (yes, even the people who frustrate you). This one has changed my work the most. Not every editor wants to be pitched the same way. Not every client processes information the same way. And to get to my core wound: not every person will like me. My wife and I are polar opposites, in the best way, and it’s taught me more about this than any business book. When you stop expecting people to work like you do and get curious about how they work, so much friction just disappears.
“Shoulds” are usually someone else’s way. If something in your day feels icky or takes you out of your genius, it’s worth asking where “the rule” came from. 9 out of 10 times, we were shown from our first boss or job that this is how something “should be done” or this is an “industry normal” — but truly says who? Will a police officer come knocking at your door if you no longer take client calls before 10am or schedule more than 2 total in one day? OR - my personal favorite, no longer send call recap emails. The sexiest thing I did in my business was no longer say “we will send through a follow up email after this call with a recap and next steps.” Yuck. But my yuck may not be your yuck. I know and work with many humans who love a follow up email.
So what will this newsletter be?
A space to be honest and explore what makes each of us different, with Human Design as a lens I’ll often come back to. Expect stories from my own chart and experiments, simple explanations of types, strategies and authority for anyone brand new, things I’m learning, books and podcasts that expand my perspective, and the practical side of letting yourself be more yourself at work and in life. I have no schedule or content plan - I do know it will likely shift between reflective, tactical, a bit of both, a random voice note recording - because that’s how my brain works lol.
No one-size-fits-all here. That would kind of defeat the purpose.
I’m curious: Do you know your Human Design type? What’s one thing about you that you used to hide and now wouldn’t trade?
Reply to this email or leave a comment <3 I’d love for future issues to be shaped by what you share.
If you have a specific question that you’d like to ask me directly and receive an answer through the lens of your unique energy / human design chart, you can do so with my "AKA: Ask Kaila Anything offer:
I hope this served whoever it was meant to today.
xoxo, KO🌹